A G K Y R A

For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to decay and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. (Rom 8:20–25, ESV).

I come face to face with this futility every time I revisit a subject I thought I had learned thoroughly months or even just weeks before. So much of what I labored to remember is gone. When I study, I concentrate on my subject, wanting to remember it, wanting it to be available on an occasion when I might need it. Undoubtedly that occasion will not be an ideal one for remembering: perhaps I will be in a conversation with someone in a noisy place, having to remember while listening attentively to what the other person is saying; or, it might be in a dispute or in speaking before a group. I cannot even recollect the details in an orderly fashion in the most controlled environment conducive to remembering, the solitary quiet of my study, coffee cup at hand, at a time of my own choosing. I feel the futility of my efforts and experience my mind’s barrenness.

The proper response to this is to acknowledge it and resign myself to it, but not without hope. I am a creature, part of the creation that has been subjected to futility, Yet, as one of the children of God, I know that I will live in a renewed heavens and earth and in the freedom of glory that Paul talks about here. In that day, my efforts will not be fruitless. My mind will be restored to its proper functioning. My understanding will flourish and my memory will open itself to me at my will. The Lord knows that we labor under this hardship now, and hardship that he imposed on us so that we would not experience the full blessedness of his good creation in our present sinful state. This is so that we will long for the realization of our redemption in renewed bodies and minds in a renewed land. Rather than dwell on the feeling of frustration, focus on cultivating an eager hope that this day will come soon. O Lord, help me when I experience the frustration and futility of my own labor. Let me not become discouraged by it but please use it to cultivate hope in me. Please accept the imperfect fruit of my efforts and use it for the good of your people and to the glory of your name, for the sake of your son in whose name I pray. Amen.